Poppered Out: an Ode to the Good Ole Days….

Am I too old for this shit?

This is a common mental  note I make after I spend some time jacking off when I use poppers as an enhancement to my edging sessions.

I have been using Poppers since I was 21. I had accidentally came across this phenomenon of gay culture. I remember visiting a gay bar for a Halloween event and I was dancing away and I noticed many gay boys dancing it up with lighters to their nose. I never thought much of it. Curious but not tempted. I remember a boy asking me if I wanted a huff. I declined after asking him what it was.

It was on my mind for several months. After leaving the big city back to where I was living I was laying in bed with my boyfriend at the time. We were talking about it. I told him the local sex shop was selling this liquid called Poppers and I wanted to try it. We agreed to try it. He went to shower and I ran to the local porn shop to buy a bottle of this heavenly substance.

I got back to the apartment and I ran into the bedroom to start our little sex party for two. It was amazing. We inhaled this euphoric liquid like it was our existence. We had a great time fucking.

Needless to say 20 years later I am still using it. I have always wanted it apart of my sex life. It was many years later that I started to hear rumblings on how it is not good for you.

20 years later I am now finding myself more cautious of its use. I love it. I love the feeling, I love the habit of edging my cock and raising my hand to my nose and taking a big huff filling my lungs with the breath of ecstasy. It filled my body with a throb, a high that intensified my orgasm. I would edge myself to the point of passing out sometimes.

I remember a time in my youth(about 9years ago) that I was severely depressed. I was unemployed. I was smoking pot. I was drinking. I was addicted to porn. My current boyfriend and I had a cozy 2 bedroom apartment. I would use the spare bedroom as my lair. It was my sex dungeon. I created a bad habit. I would stay up late, well past my boyfriends bedtime. I had it down to a science. I would watch 2 sitcoms smoking pot, maybe 4 joints would get me high. After the sitcoms ended, I would sit back in my bachelors chair, grab a drink, and put porn on the DVD player.  I had these DVDs that would play for 8hrs. It was heaven.  I would edge, toking in one hand and poppers in the other. I would edge for 1-2hours, working my cock with pot and poppers. Added to the fact that I would be hot boxing my room and my cock was restrained in a cock-ring I would have the most intense orgasm and shoot loads. It was a contest with myself to see how far I could shoot. At times I would jerk off and cum right away only to toke and stroke to porn until I was ready to blow a second time.

I would remember after blowing my loads and my head rolling back,  my eyes were shut and seeing colours and my body filling with this body chill. I would slowly freak out wondering what was happening to my body. It was the most intense body stone I would have. Even back then I felt like I was on the edge of something dangerous.  I then went to bed at 3am and slept in. I lived for bating my cock.

I did this for months. Then one fatal night, early in the night I had this most intense cough. It hurt. It felt like my lungs had separated from its connective tissue from my ribs and I blew a gasket. It hurt. The very next day I developed this huge thump in my chest and I gave up smoking pot. Just like that cold turkey.

My days of edging and putting myself in a frenzy were over.

Recently the Canadian Gov’t decided that the importation and sale of Poppers was illegal. Poppers soon became a high commodity in the gay black market. Everyone was out. No one could find any. Then out of the blue people started to sell them over craigslist, bars and some bathhouses would start to sell them under the table. The price doubled even tripled.  I would admit I too would buy them for an outrageous price.

Why not?

I love to jack my cock and fuck while sniffing poppers.

There was a time though that I knew better and tried to go off them when it was too difficult to find them. In my sex drawer where I store my condoms, lube, toys etc I have probably 12 or more used old bottles.

I have also suffered the consequences of poppers. I would sometimes get that rash, that skin burn under my nostrils, mostly one side than the other.  Certain Brands would contribute to it more than others and then sometimes it was just the age of the poppers that would contribute to my nose being burnt. A chemical burn to say the least. I would go through times in my life being questioned by coworkers what was wrong with my nose, family members would ask. I would always reply with it was a cold, I got burnt by steam from a facial steamer, etc. Whatever would take the attention away from me using poppers. It was hard but it always worked. My worst fear was that people would assume I sniffed the white stuff. I never did!! for the record.

I learned that sometimes I would chase the rush. I wanted to be fully poppered up when I blew my load which would lead to my head rush and my body feeling completely useless and unable to move after I bated for so long. This told me I was getting too old for this shit.

Why do I do it….Habit, addiction??

I know men who are older and have been doing it longer. Was it a bad thing? Will I succumb to some sort of cancer because of it? Will I die because of my bad habit? Does Health Canada know something they aren’t telling us ? Why are countries around the world finally after 4 or more decades now banning poppers?  Can I survive without them?  Can I relearn how to have enjoyable sex without them?

Who doesn’t love a good hit of the little brown inconspicuous bottle when your about to take 8 or more inches of raw cock?!! I do…Fuck, I am so tight, I rarely take it but when you meet that one guy who you just can’t resist but to try, they sure come in handy then.

I have met many people over the years who are against them, I have met some men who consider them a drug just as pot or coke are. That I do not understand. I have at one point in my life freely used them in the club dancing as well. They were making a comeback, I remember educating my straight friends to try them. It was all the rage once.

There is something to be said to walking into a room, a bathhouse, or a sex party and the first thing that hits your nose is the stench of raw poppers filling your body before you even see any skin….