Fucking and Sucking at the Bathhouse

I could not take it anymore. I went to the local bathhouse on Sunday.  I know a guy who works there so I was hoping to get in there for free. That was not the case. He also told me on my way over to bring a book. I guess it has been slow there recently. It seems to be that when it is busy one night of the weekend the next couple days are slow and not so busy at all. I had to go.  had to take my chances and have some fun. I was craving some man cock and just to feel it in my hand.

I went. I paid my dues and went to my room. Only one other man was there. It was awkward for a bit. Not knowing how I wanted to conduct myself in the realms of fucking and sucking.

I walked around. Put my towel on and enjoyed the porn playing on the tvs throughout the bathhouse. It as ok. A few other men appeared and we played the game. We all took turns following each other.

Here is the attendance. Myself. A early 50s fit wish man with a big chest tattoo and a hung cock.  A middle aged man, slim and trim, shy and fussy. An older slim trim man, white hair and a white beard. A slim trim late 40s man*who i have played with before. A 30s shortish cub with a hairy chest and beard. Plus 2 other middle aged men.

I had the pleasure of sampling the older man with the tattoo. I was unaware at the time who’s cock was in the dark glory hole but it was awesome. He was hung, juicy and how a mans cock should feel in your mouth.  I was cock hungry, I also had the older white haired man in my mouth.  All the men were hung that day.  I also had the pleasure of feasting on the regular guy I had met before.  At one point the white hair hung man and my regular and I all played in the glory hole. It was great. I was so horny and the feeling of having two hung fat cocks in each hand as I sucked was great.

I will admit 2 days later I have some guilt. I feel….I feel like Christ…I could have gotten HIV, I could have gotten any other STD.  sighs…Time will tell.

I know the tattoo man had cum near my mouth and I had a small taste. I also could taste pre-cum from my regular. I also know my regular plays a lot and he self admitted to me in the past he had “curable” STDS..thank god for antibiotics.

So here I sit in the coffee shop…Do I have an STD.  Unlikely HIV but it’s still a risk. I mean,” what if the man who gave it to my partner has not been contacted or knows he has it and is out there spreading it still!!!”

sighs…This is what nearly turns me off from SEX.

The Sweats

For some reason yesterday I was unable to sleep.

I had an exciting day. I had been outside in the sun most of the day. I had been to my local coffee house for  a moment to enjoy being out and about and people watching. Looking at apartments and condos online, sipping on my coffee.

I had a job offer and I accepted it. Needless to say I was full of life yesterday.

SO….I stayed up late and surfed the net while watching Netflix. I went to bed just before 3am. I crawled into bed. The boyfriend was sleeping silently. I had no issues. I went to cuddle him and he was very very very sweaty and warm. I felt his forehead and he had no fever.

My first thought was,” was this the sweats they talk about?”

My boyfriend has always been a sweaty sleeper. It was not an uncommon thing. I was not too surprised but for the first time it did bother me. I second guessed who he was. I was angry.

Anger. Angry. Frustrated. Sad….I was sad….I was sad that my boyfriend I would never ever truly know who he would have become. He has now become something else. He will never ever become the man he or I thought he would.

Will I always second guess each wrinkle, will I second guess his fat, will I second guess his energy level. I am….

He had never ever had any HIV symptoms and still has had no illness. I read all the time on these HIV chaser sights etc that guys get the “fuck flu” etc. Some state they get it within weeks. Etc…It blows my mind. It makes me doubt. It makes me mad. It makes me confused. It makes me sad…just plain sad.

He is a very slim man as it is. At the most he is 135 lbs wet…..Slim and trim he has always been.  That scares me for the future. What will happen to him with the HIV and his body type. It seems unlikely that he will be a huge man with muscle and such but what are you suppose to do…I can’t change him. HE can’t not become someone he isn’t. He works out. HE eats well..

I tell myself he is fortunate enough that he has never had the “fuck flu”, he has never had symptoms. Now that he is 30days in with triumeq  he is on his way to being as normal and healthy as he can be…BUT he will never know who he could have been…

I don’t know.  It seems my stages of touring are now all so melded together I am just moving on.

I asked him yesterday how he was in regards to his side effects. He said he only suffers some upset stomach and nausea and once he eats its gone. So I suppose that is a good thing but again the pamphlet that came with the drug says that side effects may appear up to 6weeks after. It scares me if he gets diarrhoea because he already has bowel issues has he has 18inches less of his large intestine….He has always had shit issues….since the surgery.

HIV and the Common Cold

HIV and the Common Cold.

Both Virus’ both have their own stigmas.

Both have their enemies…

The Common Cold goes through the work place and sheltered and secretive germaphobes come out of the wood work. Germaphobes start to dictate to others how to live their life. Give suggestions to peers on how to combat the virus. Little empathy comes the way of the cold sufferer. People with a cold are shunned from engaging with their friends. Struggling to get their own work done. Waste paper baskets filling with crumbled yellowish tissues. The dry hack or sneeze echoes through the hallways and coffee rooms.

Coworkers begin to use their elbows to open doors, people avoid the sick. People will gossip about how rude it was for the Cold sufferer to even show up at work.

With my own experience of HIV ignorance and my exposure to it from others seems the same. People start to whisper about the infected. People will roll their eyes. People will be afraid to use common areas out of ignorance of HIV.

I have yet to fully experience ignorance or hate about my partners HIV infection however I am sure some day I will be exposed to it and I will have to deal with the sorrow and stigma of people living with HIV.

Whether it be at the bathhouse and my partner comes or not people will ask about him and wonder why he does not come with me anymore. Men who we use to fuck will start to ask how come we are not in the game anymore. People will ask what is wrong with my partner.

Now I have had my first experience of my partner being sick while having HIV. Four days ago he started to suffer from common cold symptoms. He had a sore throat, a tickle even. He had a stuffy nose and sinuses and  sneezing and coughing. The common cold came on fast and hard.

I knew one day we would have to deal with a common ailment and work our way through it and wonder if it was due to his weakened Immune System or just a cold as everybody gets.

The weird thing is my partner in the 15years I have been with him has hardly ever been sick. I can count on one hand how many times he has had a cold or flu. Actually, He has never had the flu. He is relatively a very very healthy man. He refrains from taking OTC meds for even headaches which he has rarely gotten.  It was actually headaches and clogged sinuses that made him worry he may have an HIV infection.

This first Cold was nothing for me. Did I worry, yes! Did I make a big deal about it, No! I did baby him the first two days. The first day he had off anyway due to a Dr. appointment. As soon as we got him home from the appointment I tucked him into bed with extra blankets made him some tea and gave him some fruit.

I then ran to the grocery store to pick up some remedies. I got him Cold FX, a cold/flu pill which for us is a miracle. I got him Zinc lozenges as well as some great fruit and veggies and some more tea.

I made sure he was well hydrated and made sure he was always drinking or having  fruit and chicken noodle soup every 2 hours. I was always reminding him to drink up, take his pills and vitamins.

One thing we learned as we went through this process is we have to look at OTC a little differently. We have to read labels and understand how they interact with HIV medications. We decided from the limited knowledge the medical community has on herbs and how they interact with HIV meds to not use the Zinc Lozenges. We did continue with the Cold FX and the multi vitamin.

Day 2 of his cold he called in sick with my strong recommendation. Day 3 he also called in sick and Day 4 which is today is his normal day off. The first 2 days I really did baby him and made sure the household was run smoothly and he asked for nothing. I always made sure he was able to rest and move about the house freely and able to enjoy the time to recover. My thinking was as this was his first cold with HIV that it would be a baseline to know how long it takes him to recover.

Today he still has a cough and seems congested but his energy level is higher. He has been getting a lot of sleep and eating very well and I love him to death. He had said earlier in his cold that it was a 7-8/10 as being intense and today being a 3-4/10.  He never once allowed his mind to go there. To go to the dark place of ” oh poor me I have HIV and I have a cold, this sucks.”

His energy level is up and he still has some symptoms but he is still suffering from sinus congestion. Which really he would have had anyway with or without HIV. He has always had sinus issues.

So how was our first attack of a common ailment. It was great. It went well.  I told him it was important for me and I think for him to actually have taken the time off work and see how this cold plays out in prime conditions. Without work interfering and draining his energy. He knows that to beat a cold it takes him 5days minimum to get to a level of functioning. To me it was a test. It was show him that his health matters. That as his first cold to show him how much work it is to get back on your feet and boost your immune system without work adding to the mix.

So when a cold hits him again he can make the choice. As previously he would go to work and it would drain him and it may take him a little longer to bounce back.

I think he is in a unique situation. That he is on his meds for 30days now and he has gotten a cold within that time. Was it due to a weakened immune system, who knows? We will never know. Does it matter, probably not. Is it important? I think so! WHY? Because it adds to a baseline. WE know How strong his body is. We know he is still a strong resilient man. He said he knew that his body knows what to do and trust his immune system. I think that is powerful that he knows that.

It is just a simple Common Cold but from a man who never got sick it is important.

In the past at the slightest sign of a scratchy throat or a tickle we would both take a triple dose of Cold FX.  We never got a cold!! WE strongly believe in our regiment to beat the cold. The reason we take a triple dose is this. The normal dosage is one pill 200mg once a day for maintenance up to a safe limit of . If you are sick you can take an extra strength formula. This formula is 300mg x6 a day, 1800mg! So what we did was this.

Day 1 3 200mg x 3 day= 1800day

Day 2 same

Day 3 2 200mg x 3 day= 1200mg

Day 4 same

Day 5 1 200mg x 3 day = 200mg

Day 6 1 200mg x 1 day – 200mg

We find when we do this we never ever get sick. We also cut out all refined sugars, grains, red meat, booze, dairy, and drink lots of water. We have tried and tested this method for 7years! We swear by it and would testify under oath that this product is a true and tested product that should be the standard to treating and preventing colds.

So here we are, one testimonial and our first Common Cold Mixed with HIV infection.